Why I didn’t know my weight during pregnancy and postpartum

I had never really thought about pregnancy until I got married. And then I thought about it all the time. And I was scared. Like really scared. I pushed off getting pregnant for as long as I could due to that fear.

What was I so afraid of?

I was scared of all the body changes. I had worked so hard to get to a place where I loved my body, and pregnancy would change it all. I was scared that I wouldn’t love my growing stomach, the stretch marks, and the weight gain. I was scared of labor and birth. And I was scared for my postpartum body.

I knew myself well enough to know that if I kept track of my weight throughout my pregnancy, that I would become hyper-focused on it. I was afraid that I would turn to some past negative behaviors to try to control that weight. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to love my baby because of all the built-up resentment from the changes in my body. I was afraid that I would be sad and depressed because of the number on the scale. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to listen to and respect my body because the number on the scale would become more important. I was scared that my weight would become a higher priority than taking care of my body and baby.

There is a chart out there that tells you how much weight you “should” gain during pregnancy, and I did not want to get caught up in what I was “supposed” to weigh.

So I chose to not weigh myself and to do blind weights at doctor appointments. It was the best decision I could have made! By choosing not to know my weight, I saved myself from a million break-downs, weeks of stress, and days of depression. I am currently five weeks postpartum and still have not weighed myself. I am choosing to focus on how my body feels, and right now, that’s the most important thing I could do. Especially with all those crazy hormones flowing through me! Pregnancy and birth is a beautiful process. A female’s body can literally create a living and breathing person. Because I didn’t have the stress of weight on my mind, I was able to appreciate the process so much more than I would have been able to. And for that I am grateful.

My weight does not define how good of a mother I am or person I am. And your weight doesn’t define who you are. I am so grateful that I chose not to know my weight, and it’s something that I highly recommend everyone to consider doing.

Love,
Kaylee

 



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